When a parent is confronted with obvious deception from a child, he/she feels confused. On the one hand, the first reaction is to punish, and on the other, the question “why did he do this” appears. It is important to act correctly.
Reasons for children’s lies
Lodges and fantasy should not be confused – stories about an imaginary world. In the case of deception, the child is well aware that he is touching reality. A baby can lie for several reasons:
- Raising social status – attracting the attention of other children, improving communication skills, a desire to rise.
- Everything is like parents’ – mom or dad can ask the child to lie, for example, tell the grandmother on the phone how bored her grandson is. As a result, the preschooler takes what is happening as normal.
- Agree with everyone – in large families, relatives often conflict. As a result, the preschooler is forced to agree with his parents, grandmother, and grandfather. The kid gets used to lying.
- Fear – Authoritarian adults have a frightened child. He is afraid of punishment and that is why he comes up with stories, tries to justify himself, and save himself.
- Pathological lie – the child always cheats, for any reason and refuses to admit his position. Maybe a sign of mental health problems. Need help from a specialist. It is not always easy to determine the reasons for cheating. In this case, you can contact a child psychologist. He will explain the features of the preschooler’s behavior and tell you what to do.
Three main rules
You cannot swear or beat the child – this will only force him to lie more and more often. The first step is to assess the situation. It is important to think about what prompted the preschooler to do this. Maybe he is afraid of punishment from a strict mother? Or is he scared, to tell the truth about his family?
Second, consider whether history can be prevented from repeating itself. If the child lacks warmth and affection, then it is worth giving it to him. Or he is afraid of his social status, then you need to help raise him.
Third, don’t blame. Even if, under pressure, the baby confesses, then he will understand only one thing: you need to lie so that you are not caught.
Examples of situations
If a preschooler has broken a toy, then instead of swearing and abuse, it is better to say: broken? You definitely didn’t want that. Carelessly picked it up, and she fell, right?
After that, the child will not begin to invent that she herself broke. It will become easy for him, and the conflict will not flare-up. You can translate everything into a joke. For example, a child broke a cup. Then I must say that her legs grew and she self-destructed.
Parents need to remember the key point of parenting: adults are a model of behavior. If a child hears how his mom and dad are cheating, what conclusion will he draw? It’s okay to lie. Therefore, change begins with oneself.
It is necessary and possible to react to a lie. To do this, it is enough to state a fact (the chain is torn or the thing is dirty) and describe your feelings. The main thing is not to go into too strong a negative. Yet a broken service is not such a serious loss. The trust of the child is much more important.