Psychological Consequences of Abortion - Adishhub

Psychological Consequences of Abortion

The second victim of abortion is a woman, but who takes her pain seriously? Hardly anyone even thinks about it

Bernard Nathanson

Psychological Consequences of Abortion

BUT

boarding is an unnatural act that causes, in addition to physical complications, real mental disorders, personality changes and a feeling of inner emptiness. All these manifestations are called “post-abortion syndrome”. Its symptoms are detailed in the psychological and medical literature. Such an action as an abortion is so contrary to the maternal instinct, female nature, that it can be compared to a time bomb that a woman places in her own subconscious. The norms and rules of society, parents who cannot come to terms with the fact that their daughter will “disgrace” the family, the status of a single mother put pressure on a pregnant woman with the weight of a multi-ton monolith. And she makes, as it seems to her, the most correct decision – an abortion. But even numerous reasons, such as the absence of a man, a job, which a woman voices in her defense cannot affect the deeper layers of the psyche. By killing the child, she kills part of herself. Think about it: people with amputated limbs or internal organs can feel their energetic presence even after a long period of time. This phenomenon is known as phantom pain. The child is an inseparable part of the mother, not only at the physical level, but also at the level of the soul. Even after birth, mother and child are linked for several years, and experienced doctors know that if a child is sick, then his mother should be treated first. 
To kill a child means to kill something in yourself. According to psychiatrists, after an abortion, a woman in the deep layers of the subconscious forms an attitude towards self-destruction for resisting the natural course of things. As a result, a woman begins to experience a number of pathological conditions. Post-abortion depression develops. For the most part, women envisioned abortion as a necessary remedy for depression that can occur as a result of an unplanned pregnancy. But the opposite happens: they only learn after an abortion what real depression is, they expect relief from the abortion, but as a result they get real grief: “I want to scream. Why did I do this? But you can’t get anything back. But I could have given birth to my second baby, but I went and … Almost 2 months have passed, but I don’t want to live! Who gave the right to us, women, to decide whether to live a child or die? We were given life !!! I hate myself, but you can’t get anything back! I look at my little son and remember – I was waiting for him so! Calculated every week of his life in the tummy! And then to do so … forgive me, kid. ” They may try to hide this grief but it still bursts out: “And then Natasha cried out. The anesthesia passed, and she was already conscious, but not yet completely. 
And what she tried to hide from herself broke through. She begged for her child to be returned to her, she rushed about the bed, trying to get up and follow him. And this was probably the most terrible thing that I have seen in my life. A mother’s cry for the child she killed. She needed him, but, having submitted to false ideas about what is right and what is wrong in this life, what is important and what can wait, she lost him. And I couldn’t forgive myself for that. ” was the worst thing that I have seen in my life. A mother’s cry for the child she killed. She needed him, but, having submitted to false ideas about what is right and what is wrong in this life, what is important and what can wait, she lost him. And I couldn’t forgive myself for that. ” was the worst thing that I have seen in my life. A mother’s cry for the child she killed. She needed him, but, having submitted to false ideas about what is right and what is wrong in this life, what is important and what can wait, she lost him. And I couldn’t forgive myself for that. “

The main symptom of depression is a constant return to the experience in the subconscious. The most typical manifestations are:

Feeling of irreparable loss, emptiness, sorrow

Even if a woman treats the abortion procedure easily, convincing herself that the fetus in her body is just a set of cells, you cannot deceive your soul and conscience: “They explained to me that only a small piece of flesh is removed during an abortion, that this procedure takes place is almost painless and lasts about five minutes. But when I was lying on the gynecological chair, and a living being was literally “sucked out” of me, a feeling of deep guilt came to me in front of the child, whom I deliberately did not allow to be born. I left the office as a completely different person. These five minutes became the beginning of a life full of despair, fear, shame, hopelessness, hatred of her husband … ”At a subconscious level, a woman still understands that it was not an embryo that died, but a living being. And she will grieve over the loss, feel an irreparable loss, emptiness and blame herself. Usually, such feelings appear when a loved one is lost. But abortion in this case is no different from death, except that this death was our consciously made decision. It is difficult to fill this spiritual emptiness with something: “A year from the day of the second abortion, I remember everything as if it were yesterday. 

Nervous breakdown and terrifying headaches for 3 months, which did not stop for a minute, as a result of which I became addicted to tranquilizers. Misunderstanding of oneself. And endless emptiness. ” “And in one day everything was cut off. Ultrasound … Tears … Gynecological chair … Anesthesia … Emptiness … A month has passed, and I don’t have a minute so that I don’t remember my unborn baby. ” “And I still feel that I made a mistake. When something alive was removed from my body, I felt unbearable emptiness. The child is gone. This loss is irreversible. After the abortion, a kind of dull, terrible, gaping emptiness remained in the soul – after all, a murder was committed ”. Grief is a natural consequence of any loss. Therefore, women who have an abortion must go through this time-consuming and energy-consuming process of regret and remorse. It is always more difficult to get through it if you yourself are in some way involved in the loss. This partly explains why women who have an abortion suffer more than those who miscarried during the same period of pregnancy. Unable to openly express their feelings, they become apathetic, indifferent, irritable and exhausted. There is usually no one to tell about such experiences, and no one will sympathize – after all, it was a consciously made decision. Often, at least understanding one’s condition is hindered by a widespread idea – “it was not a child”. Such words can deceive the mind, but not the deeper layers of the psyche. A woman who has an abortion dooms herself to experiences equal to those that arise when a loved one is lost, but deprives all of the rights to sympathy and at least to openly express their grief.

Obsessive memories

The post-abortion syndrome is characterized by repeated experiences of abortion, as nightmares, obsessive thoughts, representations of the image of the unborn child. Especially such experiences become acute on the anniversary of the abortion or on the alleged birthday of the child: “… And again March … In mid-March he was supposed to be born … And again I count his birthdays and cry. I look at my son and think what that kid would be like. ” Quite often, women talk about nightmares in their dreams: “I often started having nightmares, in which I had an abortion over and over again. If I had saved our child, everything would have been different … ”Memories come to the surface when a woman sees other children, of the same age, when she watches her subsequent children. She looks at the babies, and before her eyes the image of her own unborn baby rises, what it would be like now. “I had an abortion, and since then I have been counting how old he would be, my baby. He would be 2.2 years old now. I don’t know who it was – a boy or a girl, but somehow I suspect that it was a son. Often I imagine that next to my eldest son is the youngest child, how they fiddle, play together … Sorry, dear … I didn’t want to. “

One of the psychotherapists recalls: “I recently met a woman who fully realized herself in life. She has two children and already has grandchildren. She is almost 60 years old. And then one day she said to me: “This middle child of mine would be already 29 years old!”. That is, she is still counting the age of that unborn child. And he has been living for 29 years with the feeling that that third child could have lived as well ”. Knowing that an unborn child will never be five, ten, or twenty years old is painful. Regret does not let go, while it is constantly accompanied by a sense of guilt, and this is one of the following symptoms.

Guilt

It intensifies during a meeting with children, watching thematic material, communicating with friends and acquaintances. Seeming judgmental views from parents and other close people provoke remorse, self-flagellation and a strong desire to have a child. As a rule, a woman understands that all the reasons why she refused to give birth, in fact, do not justify such an act. “Now I’m 26, I’m married and pregnant. This child is very desirable, my husband is happy, seeing my growing belly, I am also happy, but there is one “but” – a feeling of guilt gnaws at me. Guilt towards the two kids I killed. Right now it hurts me most of all to think about them, not guilty of anything, deprived of life and maternal love. They were no worse than my baby, which I carry under my heart. ” They say that time heals but the memories of the abortion and the associated feeling of guilt remain with the woman for life: “My grandmother is already 87 years old, sometimes she recalls her life … your fourth child. She had an abortion. The only one in life. And she always cries about the same thing:

“Well, she gave birth to three, even if there was a fourth … Son or daughter …” She has three children, a bunch of grandchildren and four great-grandchildren, live and be happy … I mean that an abortion is irreparable , and do not think that over time it will be forgotten … No. Only the pain will be sharper, and the understanding that this cannot be corrected is sharper. ” It is much easier to remove the baby from the mother’s womb than the memory of him from her soul. Grief, guilt will periodically overtake her after the abortion, even if you try to push them into the farthest corner of your consciousness. They will live inside, and constantly return, even at an old age, when a cold reality falls on a woman who has already become wiser. Feelings of guilt increase if a woman remains childless. The realization comes that she herself is to blame for childlessness. While having subsequent children can ease feelings of guilt, infertility can exacerbate them. Miscarriages resulting from earlier abortions are also hard to experience. It is known that abortions significantly increase the likelihood of subsequent miscarriage. The more often miscarriages occur, the more the feeling of guilt increases. if the woman remains childless. 

The realization comes that she herself is to blame for childlessness. While having subsequent children can ease feelings of guilt, infertility can exacerbate them. Miscarriages resulting from earlier abortions are also hard to experience. It is known that abortions significantly increase the likelihood of subsequent miscarriage. The more often miscarriages occur, the more the feeling of guilt increases. if the woman remains childless. The realization comes that she herself is to blame for childlessness. While having subsequent children can ease feelings of guilt, infertility can exacerbate them. Miscarriages resulting from earlier abortions are also hard to experience. It is known that abortions significantly increase the likelihood of subsequent miscarriage. The more often miscarriages occur, the more the feeling of guilt increases.

It is quite difficult to live, constantly feeling the range of feelings that was described above. Women are oppressed by the very recollection of an abortion. They try to find ways to protect them from feelings of guilt, remorse, and depression. Many people think of suicide as an effective way to solve the problem. In the human mind during this period, suicide looks like a plausible illusion of a way out of the current, extremely unfavorable situation, which a person cannot yet cope with: “Two months ago I had an abortion from a loved one. I myself do not understand why I agreed to all this. Everything was like a dope. After the abortion, my life is like hell. I fall asleep with tears, I wake up with them, I constantly think about suicide, I even chose the method. How I regret the abortion cannot be described in words. I think suicide will help me get rid of my grief. It’s like a fire is burning inside me. ” “My boy, my baby, I ask him for forgiveness every day. Sometimes I have thoughts of suicide, because I can’t live with it! ” “I wanted to die, or at least go insane, to end this torment, nightmares about children, self-loathing and self-destruction.”

Dr. Robert Balfura, Consultant Gynecologist, gave an example of a follow-up of 5,000 women in Finland between 1987 and 2000. The study found that women who had an abortion after an unplanned pregnancy were six times more likely to commit suicide than those who had a child. Another way to forget about experiences is to escape into the world of dreams and sick fantasies with the help of alcohol and drugs, which leads to deep dependence and practically does not recover: “After the abortion, I stopped communicating with my former friends and made many new acquaintances. I am addicted to drugs and alcohol. In order not to think about what had happened, I tried to constantly stay high or drunk until I lost consciousness. ” “I started drinking to forget myself and save myself from pain. Before the abortion, she was engaged in gymnastics and led a healthy lifestyle. And then she began to feel guilty, lost self-respect and began to think about suicide. Nothing else interested me. “

Doctors officially state that women need to be educated about the threat of potential mental health risks after abortion. Not long ago, scientists at the University of New Zealand conducted a study of thousands of women and found that 40 percent of those who had abortions suffered from post-abortion mental disorders. These problems include depression, addiction to alcohol or drugs, sleep disturbances, suicidal thoughts, and are more likely to accompany women who have an abortion than those who have had a miscarriage or remained pregnant before childbirth. Sometimes softer methods of compensation are chosen, but still, a woman tries to build her life so that it brings less pain. She sees a way out in refusing to communicate, avoiding new acquaintances, seeks to retire and withdraw into herself, so that nothing reminds of what happened. Women try to avoid anything that somehow reminds them of their children. It happens that a terrible antipathy develops towards everything that concerns children. They avoid pregnant women in every possible way, they are afraid to be in the presence of babies … Even in stores, such women in a hurry go through the section for babies. This avoidance often makes the subsequent pregnancy problematic.

For some, aggression becomes a way to protect themselves from pain: “7 months have passed since the day I had an abortion. I am 21 years old, this was my first pregnancy from a man whom I loved more than life. I will not tell the whole story, it’s too long and sad. I already tried to commit suicide. I became aggressive and rude. ” First of all, aggression extends to doctors who recommended or performed an abortion (arguments are often cited that they did not talk about the consequences), and secondly, to the child’s father, if he offered such a way out of the situation, or even simply did not stop the mother. who made the decision to have an abortion. So a woman tries to justify herself, guilt is projected outside, on those who are nearby. In any case, it is not just nervous disorders that are manifested, a complete transformation of the personality takes place. The aggression that started the abortion continues to live in women. Such behavior becomes the cause of conflicts with loved ones, and, ultimately, the destruction of families.

Women who have an abortion tend to abuse their children. H. Barker found that violence against children occurs most often in mothers who have had an abortion. Some of the mothers who have had an abortion are disgusted by touching an infant born after the end of the desired pregnancy: “I desperately wanted a child after I had an abortion, but when they handed it to me, I immediately returned it … So”. They are prone to inappropriate reactions, one of them described fits of rage that seized her every time she heard the cry of her newborn child: “I did not understand why her cry made me so angry. She was a charming child, and very calm at that. What I didn’t realize then was that I hated my daughter because she could do all that what my lost (during an abortion) child was forever deprived of. ” It shouldn’t surprise us that abortion increases the likelihood of child abuse. The above is not yet an extreme manifestation of the problem. There are cases when women who had an abortion tried to kill their already born children.

For example, Renee Nicely from New Jersey, USA, had a “psychopathic seizure” on the day of her abortion, in which she beat her three-year-old son Sean to death. She told the forensic psychiatrist that she “knows abortion is bad” and that she “should be punished for abortion.” This psychiatrist, who was an expert witness for the prosecution, testified that the murder was directly related to René’s psychological reaction to the abortion. Unfortunately, her own son fell victim to her rage and self-loathing. A similar tragedy struck Donna Fleming a week after her second abortion. Deeply depressed, Donna “heard voices” and tried to kill herself and her two sons by jumping off a bridge in Long Beach, California. Donna and her five-year-old son were rescued, but her two-year-old son was killed. Donna subsequently stated, that she tried to kill herself and her children in order to reunite her family. He who took his life once, will continue to do so in the future. The mother who killed the child had already formed a habit of killing, and in the process of killing her own children. 

It may seem that all these stories are not from this world, have nothing to do with us, and this cannot happen to a normal ordinary person. However, both Donna and Rene before the abortion, after which they developed mental disorders, were absolutely normal women who loved their children. Even if everything looks good on the outside, other children will feel the danger emanating from their mother, such sensations can manifest themselves through dreams or fantasies: “Since childhood, I often have dreams where my mother wishes me harm. For example, he chases me with a knife, hits me, tries to kill and hates me. I couldn’t understand for a long time why do I have such terrible dreams about my mother, because in life we ​​have normal relations, she loves me and never treated me cruelly. But recently I read an article about the post-abortion survivor syndrome. Mom had two abortions: one before my birth, the other after. Once, when I was 10 years old, I had an eerie dream where two boys came to our house. They seemed to be hostile and fussy. They began to eat greedily, then play with my brother’s toys, and push us away. We went to sleep on our beds, and we had to sleep on the floor … I told this dream to my mother. Later she admitted that she had 2 abortions and felt that they were boys. ” The presence of murdered children in the family will still be felt not only by the failed mother, but also by other relatives.

Feelings of guilt that he is alive, inexplicable fear of his mother, fear of being “unwanted”, difficulties in forming attachments, problems with discovering his potential, anxiety for the future, a burden of expectations that he cannot justify, problems with trust in parents – such a spectrum of emotions is formed in a child if he has brothers and sisters killed by abortions. Children learn about abortion in many different ways. They have intuition. In their dreams, drawings, they can often convey that they know that the mother was pregnant and the pregnancy was lost. Abortion is a blow not only to the psyche of a woman, but also to the psyche of all her children. The author of this letter has experienced the multiple consequences of abortion, aggression, despair, guilt, painful memories, everything that we wrote about above. Abortion was presented to her as an easy way to solve the problem, But it turned out to be completely different: “I was not told that after the abortion, incredible self-loathing would devour me from the inside and lead to distrust, suspicion and extreme inability to take care of myself and others, including my four children. I was not told that the sound of a baby crying would cause such an outburst of anger in me that I would not be able to be near the children at all.

I was not told that it would become impossible for me to look into my own eyes in the mirror. Or that my self-confidence will be so shaken that I will not be able to make any important decisions. Self-loathing prevented me from pursuing advancement in the career ladder. I thought I didn’t deserve success. I was not told that I would hate all those who advised me to have abortions because they were complicit in the murder of my children. I was not told that an abortion with my husband’s permission would result in me beginning to hate the father of my children, that I would be unable to maintain any normal, lasting, satisfying relationship. I was not told that I would contemplate suicide every fall, at the time when both of my murdered children were due to be born. I was not told that on the birthdays of my living children, I would remember those two for whom I would never bake a birthday cake. That on March 8, I will think about those two who will never give me gifts made with love with their own hands. That every Christmas will remind me of those two for whom there will be no gifts under the tree. Abortion was supposed to be an easy and quick way to solve my problems, but I was not told that there is no easy and quick way to get rid of regret and remorse. ” that I will begin to hate the father of my children; that I will not be able to maintain any normal, lasting, satisfying relationship. I was not told that I would contemplate suicide every fall, at the time when both of my murdered children were due to be born. I was not told that on the birthdays of my living children, I would remember those two for whom I would never bake a birthday cake. That on March 8, I will think of those two who will never give me gifts made with love with their own hands. That every Christmas will remind me of those two for whom there will be no gifts under the tree. Abortion was supposed to be an easy and quick way to solve my problems, but I was not told that there is no easy and quick way to get rid of regret and remorse.

” that I will begin to hate the father of my children; that I will not be able to maintain any normal, lasting, satisfying relationship. I was not told that I would contemplate suicide every fall, at the time when both of my murdered children were due to be born. I was not told that on the birthdays of my living children, I would remember those two for whom I would never bake a birthday cake. That on March 8, I will think about those two who will never give me gifts made with love with their own hands. That every Christmas will remind me of those two for whom there will be no gifts under the tree. Abortion was supposed to be an easy and quick way to solve my problems, but I was not told that there is no easy and quick way to get rid of regret and remorse. ” that I will not be able to maintain any normal, lasting, satisfying relationship. I was not told that I would contemplate suicide every fall, at the time when both of my murdered children were due to be born. I was not told that on the birthdays of my living children, I would remember those two for whom I would never bake a birthday cake. That on March 8, I will think about those two who will never give me gifts made with love with their own hands. That every Christmas will remind me of those two for whom there will be no gifts under the tree. Abortion was supposed to be an easy and quick way to solve my problems, but I was not told that there is no easy and quick way to get rid of regret and remorse. ” that I will not be able to maintain any normal, lasting, satisfying relationship. I was not told that I would contemplate suicide every fall, at the time when both of my murdered children were due to be born. I was not told that on the birthdays of my living children, I would remember those two for whom I would never bake a birthday cake. That on March 8, I will think of those two who will never give me gifts made with love with their own hands. That every Christmas will remind me of those two for whom there will be no gifts under the tree. Abortion was supposed to be an easy and quick way to solve my problems, but I was not told that there is no easy and quick way to get rid of regret and remorse. ” that I would contemplate suicide every fall, at the time when both of my murdered children were due to be born. I was not told that on the birthdays of my living children, I would remember those two for whom I would never bake a birthday cake. 

That on March 8, I will think of those two who will never give me gifts made with love with their own hands. That every Christmas will remind me of those two for whom there will be no gifts under the tree. Abortion was supposed to be an easy and quick way to solve my problems, but I was not told that there is no easy and quick way to get rid of regret and remorse. ” that I would contemplate suicide every fall, at the time when both of my murdered children were due to be born. I was not told that on the birthdays of my living children, I would remember those two for whom I would never bake a birthday cake. That on March 8, I will think of those two who will never give me gifts made with love with their own hands. That every Christmas will remind me of those two for whom there will be no gifts under the tree. Abortion was supposed to be an easy and quick way to solve my problems, but I was not told that there is no easy and quick way to get rid of regret and remorse. ” for which I will never bake a birthday cake. That on March 8, I will think of those two who will never give me gifts made with love with their own hands. That every Christmas will remind me of those two for whom there will be no gifts under the tree. Abortion was supposed to be an easy and quick way to solve my problems, but I was not told that there is no easy and quick way to get rid of regret and remorse. ” for which I will never bake a birthday cake. That on March 8, I will think of those two who will never give me gifts made with love with their own hands. That every Christmas will remind me of those two for whom there will be no gifts under the tree. Abortion was supposed to be an easy and quick way to solve my problems, but I was not told that there is no easy and quick way to get rid of regret and remorse. “

Many women go for an abortion with the thought: “It will be over soon. I just won’t think about it. I’ll just continue to live as I did before, as if nothing had happened. ” Even statistics show that most likely everything will be completely different. For example, according to research by Dr. Speckhard, conducted at the University of Minnesota in 1985: 100% of the surveyed women experience grief and loss, 92% – feelings of guilt, 85% of women were surprised by the intensity of negative emotions caused by abortion, 81% feel betrayed, 65 % had suicidal thoughts, and 23% of women tried to commit suicide.

The mental health consequences of abortion affect almost everyone who has resorted to this intervention. It is naive to think that they will bypass someone. Each person at the level of conscience understands that abortion is a murder, but due to certain social attitudes, he finds the necessary justifications for himself in order to drive deeper the feeling of guilt with logical arguments. But sooner or later, this internal disharmony will certainly manifest itself, no matter how the woman convinces herself that it was “just a clot of cells”, “a mini-abortion is nothing.” Thoughts “what would have happened if …”, memories and nightmares for a long time do not leave alone those who once decided to have an abortion. But, as they say, it is better to prevent the disease than to cure it later. Anyone who is just about to have an abortion should think about its consequences. With a sense of guilt, pain of loss, loneliness and depression are handled by few. Usually, these feelings haunt a woman for the rest of her life. Why do women agree to abortion? Who and what is pushing them to do this? In our society, they talk about the right of free choice. But this philosophy is attractive only when it is divorced from reality, revered as an ideal, viewed as an abstraction. From the perspective of women filled with despair, horror, guilt and denial, this philosophy is cold and disappointing. In terms of the consequences in the form of breast cancer, miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, alcohol abuse, suicide mania, depression, this is a bullying. From the point of view of reincarnation in the hellish worlds and other karmic consequences, everything looks even more tragic. Why do women agree to abortion? Who and what is pushing them to do this? In our society, they talk about the right of free choice. But this philosophy is attractive only when it is divorced from reality, revered as an ideal, viewed as an abstraction. From the perspective of women filled with despair, horror, guilt and denial, this philosophy is cold and disappointing. In terms of the consequences in the form of breast cancer, miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, alcohol abuse, suicide mania, depression, this is a bullying. From the point of view of reincarnation in the hellish worlds and other karmic consequences, everything looks even more tragic. Why do women agree to abortion? Who and what is pushing them to do this? In our society, they talk about the right of free choice. But this philosophy is attractive only when it is divorced from reality, revered as an ideal, viewed as an abstraction. From the perspective of women filled with despair, horror, guilt and denial, this philosophy is cold and disappointing. In terms of the consequences in the form of breast cancer, miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, alcohol abuse, suicide mania, depression, this is a bullying. From the point of view of reincarnation in the hellish worlds and other karmic consequences, everything looks even more tragic. From the perspective of women filled with despair, horror, guilt and denial, this philosophy is cold and disappointing. In terms of the consequences in the form of breast cancer, miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, alcohol abuse, suicide mania, depression, this is a bullying. From the point of view of reincarnation in the hellish worlds and other karmic consequences, everything looks even more tragic. From the perspective of women filled with despair, horror, guilt and denial, this philosophy is cold and disappointing. In terms of the consequences in the form of breast cancer, miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, alcohol abuse, suicide mania, depression, this is a bullying. From the point of view of reincarnation in the hellish worlds and other karmic consequences, everything looks even more tragic.

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