Interview with child psychologist Irina Medvedeva

Interview with child psychologist Irina Medvedeva

Orr .: In every family where there are children, sooner or later the question arises of how to start a conversation with children about gender issues, because sooner or later the children will ask these questions.

There are two points of view. Some believe that these issues should not be discussed, children will find out everything themselves. Others believe that, on the contrary, children should be given maximum information on this issue. How should this problem be solved, in your opinion?

IM: I, of course, cannot say that such a problem does not exist at all. But it seems to me that its scale has been greatly exaggerated in recent years by some sexually anxious adults. I think that when a child is interested in gender issues (and he is interested in this in different volumes at different times of his life), then he needs to be answered, moreover, in the most general and conditional form.

Corr .: These questions are asked when the child is completely chaste, and, of course, children ask them in their perfect purity. And parents in the same (childlike) cleanliness, as a rule, cannot answer. And there are such mythologemes as “stork” and “cabbage”, “they bought you in the store.” Is it good?

IM: Very good! As a child psychologist, I will say that this is very true. This has been said for centuries about “stork” and “cabbage”. I think that for a long time they began to talk about the “store”. Very true. And you know, it didn’t hurt any of the adults. As we can see, the human race has been going on for more than the first or even the second millennium.

The fruit must be forbidden until a time, so that later, when the child grows up, this fruit will be sweet. Then the race continues. If this fruit ceases to be forbidden, and, therefore, sweet, then a person, as he is made, is looking for other forbidden fruits. Isn’t that why there are so many homosexuals in the West? This is another forbidden fruit. However, he, too, is no longer forbidden.

When a few years ago I came to Germany for the World Congress on Social Psychiatry, European and American scientists said that the number one problem in the modern Western world is the sexual cohabitation of adults and children. This is what the forbidden fruit is sweet to the people of the West today. Well, if this fruit ceases to be forbidden, and therefore sweet … well, then wait for the search for other fruits.

It was Scandinavia, in particular Sweden, that first adopted sex education in schools. Right away, somewhere after the “famous” 1968. That was the so-called sexual revolution in Europe, and Scandinavia became a pioneer of sexual education.

Corr .: Tell me, but is such an intimate, intimate, intelligent conversation about gender issues possible outside the family, can such a conversation be a school lesson, a public speech?

IM: I think not. You cannot talk about bodily love in public. Look, in the cultural Russian language there is not a single word to denote the physical side of love …

Corr .: So I think about it all the time. How to talk about something that is absolutely impossible to name?

IM: We ‘d better think about something else: what does the fact mean that in such a richest language like Russian, there are no “cultural” words to denote carnal love? This means that the culture strictly “secrets” the topic itself. What language to speak? There is a mat, and there is a gynecological terminology.

Well, our sex educators are domestic, Russian, they, of course, assure that pseudo-gynecological jargon is the very thing. But, imagine that a child is being told about “penis”, “phallus”, “orgasm”, “erogenous zones”. This is generally the end of the world! I would even say that you need to think three times what is nastier, more harmful to the psyche: mat, which the child perceives as outright obscenity, or “cultural and gynecological” education. I think the second is nastier.

Corr .: I think so too, to be honest. We often hear: “It’s bad if a child finds out about it in the gateway. It’s bad if the child is told about this in the toilet ”. But if the child is told “about it” in the toilet, it will always be “toilet”. If in a gateway, then it will carry its repulsive, bashful moment. Therefore, it seems to me that even the gateway, to some extent, is the preservation of what even the name has been completely forgotten today: chastity.

IM: Quite right. Why scare the gateway? Why do some people justify sexual education by saying that otherwise children will learn “about it” from the gateway? The gateway, as a culturologist would say, is an integral part of the adolescent subculture.

Adolescence passes, the gateway passes with him, and at night the young man sighs about his beloved girl, writes poetry, walks under her windows, goes crazy over her. And he sees her as an unearthly, disembodied creature.

But if at 7-8, at the age of 12, he saw a textbook with genitals in a section, taught a paragraph on this topic, answered at the blackboard … Imagine, a teacher comes, wearing glasses, in an elegant blouse, hangs these aids, children open the textbook …

And by the way, I want to say that the pictures in these tutorials are much more obscene than the pictures in the porn magazines. It’s just a mixture of black and white. A complete mix of black and white!

Because one thing is a pornographic magazine, which the boys look under the desk, and again they know that this is obscenity. It’s another matter when in a textbook. The textbook for children is the standard. The tutorial contains reference information. And when there it is all in the typical manner of a textbook, so to speak, seriously, with pictures and diagrams … I saw all this abomination.

By the way, when my colleague Tatyana Shishova and I taught in Germany a course for students of the University of Hamburg, they somehow opened up with us after the lecture. And I remember how one charming young man, somewhat reminiscent of the heroes of T. Mann, a noble one, so to speak, said:

“How happy you are in Russia, you know what love is. We also know this, but only from classical literature. We really want to love, but we can’t, because we got sex education at school and when we see a girl, we remember what we were told about erogenous zones and fallopian tubes. ”

Corr .: The problem is very familiar. In the early 90s. parents were terrified when their children returned home from school. Let’s say the first grade students showed their parents a pretty booklet called “Your friend is a condom.”

IM: As I remember now, it was in the mid-90s.

Corr .: Where do such booklets come from in our schools? Where did these programs come from, where did these textbooks come from? Who publishes them? Who is molesting children and why?

IM: Yes, children are corrupted. And this is very scary. As a child psychologist, I can say that a kind of “nuclear explosion” is taking place in the psyche of children. You cannot name it otherwise. But for those who do it, molestation and provocation of mental shock are like by-products. The task is different: to reduce the birth rate . This is, I would say, genocide with a civilized face .

Corr .: And what is the name of this “civilized person”?

IM: His name is IPPF . And on our soil there is a branch called RAPS. Well, of course, this organization has a lot of sponsors and assistants. Let’s say such an important sponsor as the United Nations Population Fund . It is represented both in our country and in other countries where PS centers exist.

Also very helpful in exterminating the UNESCO population . UNICEF helps a lot . The Rockefeller Foundation, the Ford Foundation, the McCarthur Foundation , which are successfully working in our territory, are helping a lot .

There are some paradoxical sponsors. For example, Prince Philip of England , who heads the Wildlife Defense Fund. And everyone speaks of him as a wonderful person: he is so sorry for rhinos, he is so sorry for leopards, he is so sorry for simple mongrels, he cares so much about the environment. But let’s ask ourselves: who violates the environment the most? Of course people! The fewer people there are, the cleaner the air, water, grass will be …

Corr .: … and there will be more wild animals?

IM: Of course. So Prince Philip is closely associated with IPPF. And there are a lot of such, at first glance, unexpected connections.

Corr .: I know that in Moscow there were such, as it is now customary to say “pilot” schools, in which the RAPS programs were simply implemented using personal relationships with the principals of these schools. As a child psychologist-specialist, do you have any data on the bitter fruits of such “enlightenment” in Russia?

IM: Of course, and a lot. You mentioned the “pilot” schools in Moscow. The son of my friend, a psychologist, studied in one of them. And he was the only one in the class who did not fill out the disgusting “sex-skylight” questionnaire. I cannot repeat aloud a single question that was asked to the children. And this boy, since he was raised by a good mother, did not fill out the questionnaire. And precisely due to the fact that he did not fill it out, and therefore did not pass it, he took it out of the classroom. Other children passed, and everything is sewn-covered. The parents had no idea what their children were asking. And this boy came home and threw a questionnaire in his mother’s face, can you imagine? He was in such a terrible state … Said: “This is what you adults have sunk to!”… And he, as a thin person, had very severe mental consequences, even after one such questionnaire.

By the way, in the last few years, sexology lessons have been introduced in public schools in Russia, under various names. In addition, often at the initiative of the school, children attend all sorts of classes, seminars and lessons in the so-called medical pedagogical schools and PS centers.

The goal of teaching in all cases is the same: manipulation of the child’s psyche . Transfer of his attention from higher, spiritual values ​​to lower, carnal pleasures, to their cultivation. When a person is viewed only as a biological unit. The attention of children is focused solely on matters of sex, bashfulness is rudely trampled upon. At the same time, chastity and family are ridiculed . Future children are presented as an unnecessary, painful burden. Children are told about scary things.

Here is an example of the text of such courses:

“The main forms of human sexual life are extragenital, platonic love, dancing, geishism, genital, surrogate forms of sexual intercourse, femoral intercourse, anal, oral-genital contacts, sexual activities with animals.”

For each topic in the school, an hour, or even two, is allocated. In the West, by the way, the situation is no better. In San Francisco, for example, where a large percentage of homosexuals, sexual “minorities” have achieved that they were allowed in schools to present some kind of special, “their” sex education program. “Specialists” come to the class for 7-year-old children and say: “You shouldn’t worry if you have sexual contact with a representative of your same gender, maybe even with an older partner…”. That is, the basics of homosexuality are practically taught. The child doesn’t think about it at all. And if the child begins to talk about it, then, of course, he may have a desire to try. It turns out not sex education, but outright propaganda of debauchery .

But today, sex educators have learned to disguise themselves, since there is already some reaction from the Church, scientific experts, and, finally, the public, and parents. Therefore, now sexology lessons are called like this: “Fundamentals of a Healthy Lifestyle”, “Health Lessons”, “Hygiene”, “Valeology”, “Change Program”, “AIDS Lectures”. And parents think that this is good: after all, they were taught that children are now all born sick, and in these lessons children will be taught a “healthy lifestyle”, and, consequently, they will improve their health, or at least teach them how to become healthy.

Corr .: It would be important to find out how we can protect ourselves, to what extent we have the right to protest, what legal possibilities we have to prevent experiments on our children, on our people.

IM: You can believe me, but sex education is no less scary than rat poison. Parents should clearly imagine that they can feed their children with rat poison during such “health lessons”. When it comes to saving a child, parents are simply obligated to protect him.

And for this they must know: if something is introduced in the school experimentally, the school must notify all parents about it. Moreover, they should not just be told that “Lessons of a healthy lifestyle” are being introduced from tomorrow. Each parent must be shown the program, and each school must obtain written , not verbal, consent. And if at least one parent in the class does not agree with the innovation, they have no right to say to him: “Let your child walk in the corridor at this time.” Nothing like this! We still have state education. And the parents now have more rights than they had before.

If the headmaster claims that he, despite the protests of the parents, does not want to cancel this experimental lesson, the parents have every reason to sue. Not the teacher, but the headmaster. Because the teacher is a bonded worker.

Corr .: Once in an Orthodox gymnasium, all seventh grade students brought the Cool magazine with them to a lesson in the Law of God. It turned out that they did not know what kind of magazine it was; some kind aunt was giving it to them for free at the exit of the metro.

IM: Very naive are the hopes and hopes of Orthodox people that they will be able to raise their children in an ivory tower. And that they should only look after their children properly. You will not see! “It” is everywhere and everywhere.

And how many parents of those girls and boys turn to a psychologist (but especially for some reason the girls suffer psychologically) who read the magazine “Cool” and similar publications. Here, I will give you one example. Mom comes to the reception with a girl of 12 years old and says:

“I don’t understand what happened to her? We have such a good family. She’s such a good girl. And suddenly she began to behave like a professional prostitute. We do not understand what is with our child, we do not know how to tame her and what to do in general, she is already a candidate for the colony, and all this happened somehow quickly and, so to speak, out of the blue. ”

I ask this, and that, and that. And I don’t seem to find anything. Suddenly it occurs to me to ask: “Tell me, has your girl not read the magazine” Cool “lately?” Mom proudly replies: “Of course! This is a magazine for teenage girls. She buys it once a week, I give her money for it myself. ” – “Have you looked there?”

She, bewildered: “Why look into a children’s magazine? What, did our parents look at the magazines “Murzilka” or there “Youth”? ”

I say: “Well, you take a look, then maybe we will return to the conversation why your girl began to behave this way.”

The next day, Mom came in tears: “You know, I burned this magazine right in my yard, all the numbers I found.” I say: “It is impossible to burn everything, they are on every tray.”

Corr .: The magazines “Cool” and “Cool-girl” are youth projects of the Publishing House “Burda” in Russia, designed for teenagers 11-15 years old. People call these magazines “trash” . I read it and threw it away. The circulation of “Cool” is about 1 million copies. Sold out quickly. Although the content of the old issue from the new one is almost indistinguishable. Those who read it a couple of years ago have a hard time remembering what it is about.

This is a magazine that is extremely irresponsible in its editorial policy, because children are taught things that are completely unacceptable from a cultural point of view. What to do? After all, today we live in a world where this “information” is more accessible than any other …

IM: I urge you to control everything. And school “innovations”, and children’s magazines, and children’s programs on TV, and even, imagine, children’s cartoons. I’m not even talking about the fact that we all have the opportunity to call the deputies of the State and City Duma. After all, the deputies (theoretically) represent our interests. So, as the children say, “the booze must be raised” if we do not want to “hand over” our children to the propagandists of corruption.

In general, betrayal is a terrible sin. But betrayal of your child is the last thing!

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